Decisions

by Drendel

"Do you think she'll be safe?" I asked Celee, who was similarly nonplussed at my sister's disappearance.

"You might know that better than I would."

"My scrying gets me nothing," I dismissed. But he was right. Every night, I was one with Nightwind, who battled wraiths and darker less savory things in the South, even as she was soon to be in my head, witnessing my own comings and goings, and the war in the North. If I thought she couldn't handle it, I wouldn't have sent her, but she was seasoned in the same wars Celee was.

"I meant from your nightly wanderings."

"The people down there are loyal, they have their lands at risk. They love their safety and their freedom, but they are frightened. Their fields lay unattended, they are not used to fighting, much less to campaigns at night, and are mystified at their small heroine and the mysterious wizard who seem to know a little too much about what we're up to here in the North. Sending Amethyst is both a boon to me, and a bane. They will see a familiar face in the council, one which so clearly represents the North they cannot mistake it, but she's a child sent to do a woman's work, third in the chain of determination of their fates. Yet she's combat worn, from fighting at your side. They must take pride in their princess and her accomplishments. But I fear for her life. The creatures that come to them are different than those we face up here. Less predictable. Less intelligent. More like animals who have stolen a decaying human form. They have no clear leader to target, no organization. How do you fight an enemy who has turned corpses against you and made those living as good as corpses as well?"

"Perhaps as simply as we do here. Nightwind is buying us precious time or we might be faced fore and rear with this unspeakable enemy. If we can rout the enemy in the North, we can send reinforcements to the South." There was a breathless pause because we knew that winning one side or the other was not likely, we mostly prayed that the enemy would lose interest and turn from one border or the other, instead of the constant barrage of attacks.

"Why have we not heard from the dwarves?" he continued.

"They hide in their chambers with their gold and their pride, their daughters look on in anguish and sharpen their axes, however. They may yet join our cause."

"Should we send an emissary to them?" he pondered.

"I think that it's too early, and I don't know who to send. It should be a woman, if elven, but I have to wonder if sending any elf is too risky."

"And yourself?"

I stopped, thinking. "Now, there would be an honor indeed, but perhaps too strong a play for them, they would take my presence as an undignified show of desperation on our parts."

"So, we are not yet desperate?"

"No, beloved. Not yet."

"Then when?" he demanded impatiently. "You can no longer scry, you send your only remaining relative to battle corpses and play up a militia made of farmers, hunters, tanners and storekeepers, led by an off-worlder who keeps wolves and wizards at her side and speaks in many voices. The enemy masses almost in sight of the palace and we are 30 homeless sidhe strong, with some 200 elves to back them up, only 15 pookas and 10 sidhe stallions as we've sent the mares to foal to increase the herd. Those who ride the eyes of hawks say they number 10,000 strong. How can this little country hold? Even if the pass only allows a few hundred through at a time, we can no longer leave this world when they exhaust us, and no great magic can rip the foundations of our people to Faerie to escape."

I winced. The enemy had somehow loosened the gate of faerie from our world, ripping apart the shadowy byways which were between the two worlds, that of mortal men and the other of shades and pixies, fae and fairy, and the natural world of Sidhe.

That's not all they managed to do, but that was quite enough. My family was on the other side, persons who were in the Between had to choose which world to jump to or be torn apart in the Unmaking, and my inclination was to care for my people, to attend the elves and the land, the palace, but most especially, my beloved was trapped in mortal lands and I was not going to abandon him. My sister, so close to Celee and I, chose similarly, and was only a young wisp of a thing at the time. My parents and brothers were now worlds away, and who knows what was going on there, or if I would ever meet with them again. Various creatures which could travel the Between had died or abandoned their natural habitat, and many more had lost their ability to use certain magicks. All the Sidhe left with us could not become ethereal anymore, could no longer use magic to dodge arrow or knife. We lost 6 Sidhe warriors this way.

All the Sidhe had a meeting on the mortal side, to ask outraged questions of people without answers. What made it happen? Was it the dark ebon figure out on the fields?

Sednil wanted to challenge the dark warrior to one-on-one combat, but Celee had stayed his hand that day. Sednil was in line for regency if something happened to the throne. But Celee was in line to rule it, a task he did not want at all excepting that he wanted me.

I stood queen amongst all these people, my lovers, my friends, and my relations. Such an unwanted task. I poured over maps and decided who risked their lives and might not come home, I had the ultimate decision on whether we'd have 31 Sidhe warriors or not: should I don my armor and take up weapon against the enemy? Will one make a difference? Is it worth the risks?

Do we attempt to spy more closely than to send our hawks as eyes over them to determine if or when they will move, and how many infantry or cavalry they are sending? Who can we risk? Can they even pass as one of the enemy?

We'd lost Duvahlan that way. The mime did a fair representation of someone we'd killed, a lowly soldier, but his mind was pierced and he was taken and slaughtered before he could tell us anything. The next ride against us featured his head atop the enemy's banner pole. I'd helped his mother birth him, in my role as my people's midwife. I laid him on his mother's breast, watched him take his first milk, bounced and burped him, watched him learn to walk and run, and accepted his oath of fealty when he came of age.

It is a good thing that elves are fierce in defense of their homelands. But I do not know how long our hearts can hold against losing lover, brethren, and friend. Those are all the things we defend our country for. Who will be the last amongst us, and will they have any reason at all left to fight against such overwhelming odds? When the enemy has no one left to demoralize what will they do with their final captive?

I shook off these depressing thoughts and turned back to Celee. "I just don't think it is time yet."

"Very well. I think they will attack today."

"So do I. I will not leave to talk to dwarven war mistresses when my people are preparing for battle."

He nodded his assent.

Nightwind

Brenhani